He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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