Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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