Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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