I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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