I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
