we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
