theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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