It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she smelled like a LAN party
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
