I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
