Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
