the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
