as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
