why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
