If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
