Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
