why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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