At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
