I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How external is "for external use only"?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
