did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
