i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is her dick bigger than yours?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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