she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
