so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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