i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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