before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
