I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
i out mim tonsoeep
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