Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
