He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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