My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
