I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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