when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
