3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
