saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
