Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
