remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
