There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I believe in your delicious
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
