i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
