Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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