I hope mine doesn't look like that
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
