Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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