i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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