It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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