i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
