you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I die, sorry about rent.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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