What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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