the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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