I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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