No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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