just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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