Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
