OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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