we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
