In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How naked do you want me to be?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
